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I Won't Let Go

Thursday, December 29, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)

learned to inhale the smell of chaos,
To find the slightest clue,
Of how to undress my soul.
To lay naked into your eyes.
And melt away the sorrow.




My 6 Steps of Morning Burst

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Hello, everyone! It's been awhile since I haven't posted anything... yet. I'm so sorry for the lateness because I've been really struggling coping up with the ass-kissing assignments and a bunch of test from Fall quarter. Now that Fall quarter has come to an end, I will start my winter by posting my morning skin care routine! Anyway, Merry belated Christmas for all of you who celebrate it! May all of you have a holy jolly Christmas :)


Back to the topic, my morning skincare routine isn't really that much as it seems and it doesn't take a lot of time to do at all. Well.. it's because I tend to wake up late almost every single morning, so I have to use my time wisely :]

So, here's 6 steps of morning burst:
1. Cetaphil daily facial cleanser
I assume all of you may have heard about this cleanser, right? When I moved to the US, I tried one other brand before I fell in love with this cleanser. That cleanser didn't work really good on my skin, and I ended up having breakouts everywhere. Then I decided to throw it, and I was searching for another cleanser. At first, I'm not really sure to try Cetaphil simply because that brand isn't really familiar in Indonesia. Last time I had checked before I came here, I think it was only available in AEON Mall near my home. And the price.. wasn't really friendly. But when I came here, and I saw Cetaphil cleanser at one of the supermarkets near my house, the price wasn't really bad, and my friend said it was a good cleanser. So, I decided to give it a try! And it turned out that this cleanser is fit to my skin. I didn't have any breakouts when using this, and it's not a harsh cleanser at all. It's really gentle, and it doesn't have any scent. And this is the first thing that I do in the morning after I brush my teeth, of course! :D

2. Lush Bubblegum lip scrub
After washing my face, I usually scrub my lips with Lush Bubblegum lip scrub. I really like how they made it really nice because the color is bright pink and it has a bubblegum scent! It also not a harsh scrub, it won't make your lips hurt or bleeding when you rub it too hard on your lips. It also successfully removes all of my dead skin cells on my lips every morning. And I kinda feel that after using this lip scrub, my lips are getting more 'pink' than before! What a nice lip scrub to use as your daily accompaniment. 

October -- Isolation

Saturday, October 8, 2016



Eventually - Tame Impala
Evie - Last Dinosaurs
No Such Things - John Mayer
Palms - Petit Biscuit
I'll Be Your Reason - Illenium
How It Ended - The Drums
Young Hearts - Strange Talk (The Chainsmokers Remix)
Pyro - Kings Of Leons
Stream - Last Dinosaurs


Wipe My Eyes

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)

I am not very good 
At a lot of things;

My heart is filled with sadness,
That tries so hard to fit,
But doesn't quite belong.

My days looked foggy and dreary.
But still, I saw glimpses of sun,
A reminder that the love I'd found,
Was nothing short of rare.

Salam dari Seattle

Thursday, June 30, 2016



Halo, selamat pagi dari Seattle.

Apa kabar?
Saya harap kamu baik - baik saja.
Saya harap kamu sukses selalu dengan ujian - ujian mengemudimu.
Saya harap langit akan selalu berada disisimu.

Saya disini baik - baik saja.
Hujan selalu menjadi pendamping hariku.
Kadang saya merasa, langit di Seattle mewakili perasaan saya.
Saya harap langitmu sebaik langit saya.

Tenang saja,
Saya tidak akan berbicara tentang bualan - bualan tak bermakna.
Saya hanya akan berbicara akan kedamaian dan harapan.
Sedikitnya, saya akan menyelipkan tentang manfaat dan guna.
Karena saya ingin kamu bijaksana dalam menjalani hidup.

22 June

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Bandara akan selalu menjadi saksi bisu cerita kita.
Gereja akan selalu menjadi penjara kasih kita.
Dan langit akan selalu turut menjadi penyalur kisah kita,
Meski kita berada dilangit yg berbeda.

Dan wajahmu, akan selalu menjadi estetika pelarianku yang tidak pernah terealisasikan, karena kau telah membuatnya tidak terjangkau.
Akan selalu seperti itu.

Untuk Terakhir Kali

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)


Kadang aku membayangkan saat api merenggut habis kepingan - kepingan terdekatnya. Dan semua yang dapat ku bayangkan adalah wajahmu, bagaimana aku tidak sempat menyampaikan keindahan wajahmu disaat kata - katamu yang ganas telah menghanguskanku.
Aku tidak sempat menyapamu, untuk terakhir kali.
Disaat kau telah melambaikan tanganmu, untuk terakhir kali.
Namun, masih tersirat dalam benakku, "Bagaimana mungkin, selamat tinggal dan selamat datang terasa begitu indah saat kau melambaikan tanganmu kepadaku?"


Merenggut Matahari

Wednesday, June 15, 2016



Didasar sanubariku terdengar sebuah bisikan tanpa kata,
Tentang suara yang tersengal sia - sia saat Ia tahu bahwa senja telah membunuh matahari.
Namun katanya, "Semua ini akan ditunaikan padamu oleh sang Khalik, supaya kamu bisa belajar mencintai bayang matahari dibalik dedaunan dan air mata awan yang berusaha merenggut matahari."

Namun ketika ketakutan itu lahir didalam relung jiwamu,
Kau harus menjejakkan kaki bersama penderitaan dan kesunyian yang menusuk.
"Adalah ketika dia sudah tidak memperdulikanmu, ketika air mata itu berjatuhan dan kau masih rela menuangkannya perihal perasaan, cerita dan kedamaian dimuka bumi ini. " bisikmu.

Namun ketika matahari mengambang tenang diatas kepala,
Saat ia berhasil meluluhkan diri dan menghempas melodinya untuk mengenang sang fajar,
Saat itu manusia pun tahu.
Saat cinta itu mati, kamu tidak perlu mati bersamanya.


Saat Musim Gugur Tiba

Monday, June 13, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)

Sementara kita saling berlari,
Menentang malam yang semakin sengit,
Memungut detik demi detik;
Menyusunnya layaknya daun pada pepohonan.

Ketika musim gugur tiba,
Daun - daun pada pepohonan itupun berjatuhan,
Menandakan waktu kita yang semakin luntur.
Apakah kau bersedia, memungut kembali serpihan dedaunan didepan rumahmu, ataukah kau akan hanya menyapu mereka?

Tidak ada yang lebih tabah dari daun - daun yang sudah mati itu.
Mereka tidak pernah memaksa pertanggungjawaban darimu,
Tentang keberadaan mereka yang memberikan udara sejuk untukmu bernafas dan kedatangan musim gugur yang memaksa mereka untuk bersijingkat dijalan untuk menghapus jejakmu.

Daun - daun itu tidak ingin berteriak - teriak menjerit memecahkan gelas atau menderum,
Daun - daun itu hanya ingin duduk berdiam di depan rumahmu,
Menyaksikan kejadian demi kejadian yang menyusup lewat celah angin yang mendesau.

Jika nanti saat itu tiba,
Saat aku sudah dililit akar yang diresapi oleh pepohonan itu,
Apakah kau masih berani menyapaku, Teman?



ANGGA

Saturday, June 11, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)

Malam itu tidak seperti biasanya.
Malam kala itu menjerumus semakin dalam.
Tanda tanya itupun semakin ganas dalam jiwa,
Membuat tangga dengan kata - kata yang tak terucap,
Mendorongku ke puncak rasa takutku.

Angga, Kita tahu,
Dengan tangan kosong,
Kau hanya suka merebus kata sampai mendidih,
Lalu meluapkannya sesuka hatimu.
Namun, di sela - sela sejak ini,
Masih tersisa untaian rasa yang kau paksa mati.

Angga,
Semuanya akan selalu bersamamu.
Matahari yang tak pernah kau sapa,
Yang selalu menjadi benih pertengkaran diantara kita,
Tentang siapa diantara kita yang menciptakan bayang - bayang.
Dan tentang kau yang selalu menyombongkan diri,
Sebagai yang paling setia selama ini.
Apakah akhirnya matahari itu berhasil kau taklukan?

Namun bagaimana mungkin,
Kau dapat menandingi nya?
Saat semua yang kamu lakukan
Mematikan dan meredupkan duniaku.
Air mataku dan rasa kesalku masih mengadah kepadamu,
Walau aku ingin sekali bisa merindumu.

Angga,
Sampai huruf terakhir sajakku ini,
Kaulah yang harus bertanggung jawab atas air mataku.


[REVIEW] NIVEA POST-SHAVE BALM AS A PRIMER


Hello, everyone!
So, it turned out that I finally have the opportunity to try this product that everyone has been raving about. Yes, that nivea post-shave balm as a primer!

For those of you beauty-junkies, you must have heard of this product review everywhere. From NikkieTutorials who first made this trend, to Kathleen Lights, to Sarah Ayu, Lizzie Parra, and many more including beauty-bloggers. And for those of you who haven't heard about this, calm down, because you didn't read it wrong.. it is a post-shave balm that is normally use by men after they shaved their mustache. And yes, we're going to talk about it as a make up primer.

So, we're going to find out more about this product!

I finally have the courage to try out this product because I was influenced by the widely, glowing reviews about this product! especially when my favorite youtube, which is Sarah Ayu, gave her review about this product and that she totally loves it! And knowing that she have the same type of skin as mine, that was the moment I knew that I have to give it a try!

Now, we look at the ingredients first:
Water, Glycerin, Isopropyl Palmitate, Chamomilla Recuitita (Matricaria) Flower Extract, Tocopheryl Acetate, Tapioca Starch, Triceteareth-4 Phosphate, Maltodextrin, Carbomer, Sodium Hydroxide, Phenoxyethanol, Methylisothiazolinone, Piroctone Olamine, Fragrance




From the ingredients we can see that Nivea contains Glycerin, which is found in every makeup primer. that will smooth and prepare the skin ready. So, its clear how Nivea will work as a primer.


The bottle is a bit heavy especially when compared to other primer. It made from a glass bottle with a plastic screw-top lid. I would recommend you to take a bit of it and place it to another travel size container if you wanna put it in your makeup pouch.


The mouth of the bottle isn't super wide, but the texture of the liquid is very thin and runny so you have to be able to control it. Otherwise, the liquid will spill out of it and you will get too much of it. Just tilt the bottle at a slight angle and the liquid will slowly come out. It also has a pretty strong manly scent -- but still tolerable. The scent will not stick when you put them on your face, so it's okay.


You don't need to put much of it because of the watery texture. A little will goes a long the way. And don't put your makeup when the primer was still wet -- because it will only ruin your makeup! but don't wait until the primer is dry, because you won't get the benefit of using it. The primer will stick on your skin while you haven't put on your makeup, so the primer won't be able to prime your makeup. So, just wait a second after you put the primer on your face, and just directly put on your makeup!

I tried this product after I used my moisturizer. Then, I applied my cream foundation, concealer, pressed powder, bronzer, and my eyebrow pencil and lipcream. 

This is how my face look like after 2 hours of application:

(I don't even know why my face looks so pale in this picture lol)

I haven't noticed any oil on my face, my bronzer was still on, so my face was still normal because usually this foundation that I used that time can hold up my excess oil up to 5 hours.

After 5 hours of application, my nose started to shine! also, my cheeks and forehead began to be oily. Eventhough the oil on my cheeks and forehead weren't really noticeable, but the oil on my nose was a shine! So, I decided to use a blotting paper on my face to get rid of all the oil. That moment I realized that this product isn't that really good oil-control product. Because my face begin to be oily after 5 hours, which is the normal amount of time that my face gets oily after I used my foundation. 

This is my face after 7 hours of application, and I haven't used a blotting paper again.


Beside of the oil-control, I'm still happy because eventho I used my blotting paper, my makeup was still in place! I can see a little fading but they're not all gone. Usually, if I used a bloting paper then all of my makeup will melt away. Also, usually my eyebrows will begin to fade away especially at the front end. But this time, it didn't. So, I can say that this product successfully made my makeup on all day!

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This product is worth the hype! especially with the friendly price, ($4.19 on Target) and is available on just every corner of drugstore in towns! But unfortanately, this product isn't available yet at the drugstore here in Indonesia, but is easily found in every onlineshop. I bought mine in TWL Cosmetics, with the price of IDR195.000 ( a bit more expensive compared to the price in the US drugstore) but with 100ml of this primer, I think it would last for about 3 months of usage because I only need a bit of it. So it still worth the price. One thing that kinda makes me disappointed is the oil-control power, because many beauty blogger and vloggers been raving about the amazing oil-control of this product, which turns out to be "average" for me. I still get my face oily. But beside the oil-control, I LOVE THIS PRODUCT! because it makes my makeup on all day, it prevent my makeup of being melt away eventho I used my blotting paper, I only see a little fading. I guess this product would be perfect for everyday use! I don't need to do touch up for my makeup, and in fact that I'm also a lazy person when it comes to touch ups hahahah so this product will save my life! I will only need a blotting paper to reduce the oil on my face. Last but not least, this product doesn't give my skin a breakouts or irritation! so, my skin also love this product! 

Summary

+ friendly price
+ makes my makeup stay on all day
+ a little goes along the way
+ doesn't give my skin a breakouts/irritation
+ easy to be found in shops

- heavy, bulky packaging
- not a good oil-control product


Rate: 6/10
(because of the not-so-good oil-control and the heavy packaging)

P.S that GIF picture on top is from my phhhoto, if you have the app, you can follow me! my username is DeborahPingkan :)

Thankyou for reading, I hope my review will be helpful! xx









A Day In Our Life: First Time Train Riders

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Hello, everyone!

So, on the 3rd of June, me and my 2 friends decided to go to the Old City of Jakarta (Kota Tua) by train. It was our first time experience using a train. Yes, we are 17 and never took a train before! hahaha but now we have experienced it.

First of all, we went to the train station in Bintaro, Jurangmangu, and then we took a train to go to the station in Tanah Abang. My friends and I went to the wagon that is for women only, because we thought it would be more comfortable for us and there would be less chance for a pocket picker to take place. When we first took the train to Tanah Abang, the crowd was still normal even though there were no seats available and we had to stand for a couple of minutes. Then, we arrived at the Tanah Abang station to take the next train to Manggarai Station, and the crowd.. whoah. It was literally like a sea of people there in the wagon! all the women were jostling, even we barely had space to move. I was so shocked with that amount of people.

After we arrived at Manggarai Station, the crowd even got uncontrollable. We had to wait for the train twice, because the first train was insane.. I can say all he women went crazy and they were pushing each other in order to get a space in the wagon. I remember the security had to push all the women inside the wagon so they would fit in there. Then we wait for approximately 20 minutes to get the next train, and the crowd was still wild as before but it was better because we finally made it to the wagon! It was such an experience. But the sad news is.. WE TOOK THE WRONG TRAIN!!! When we were at the station, there's a bar that clearly says the train that go to Stasiun Kota is on lane 5, and we were on lane 5. But it turns out that the train that we were taking is going to Sudirman! T.T We were really tired and mad because we have waited for a long time to get to the train and even we need to jostling around, just to find out that we were in the wrong train??!!!?!!

(Yes, it is a snapchat filter.)

Then we decided to stop at the Sudirman Station and just take Uber Taxi instead of going back to Manggarai Station and go to the Kota Station.

After we arrived at Kota Tua, we went straight to Cafe Batavia to have our lunch



I really love the decoration!





Bonus, a picture of 3 of us! :D

A typical welcome selfie of me


 The view from our window

After having our lunch, we're heading to Museum Fatahillah and Museum Keramik. 








Last Destination: National Gallery of Indonesia!









After visited the National Gallery of Indonesia, we went back home by Uber Taxi (as always, uber is always there when needed! hahaha) before we go home, we went first to Taman Jajan, Bintaro to have our dinner. We really had a good time! It was such an experience to explore a glimpse of Kota Tua and got into a train for the first time! :)


All photos were taken by Iphone 6, edited by Vsco cam.





Kisah di Bulan Mei

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

(Image source: Tumblr)

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana,
Dengan kata yang tidak sempat tersampaikan,
Saat matahari mati agar bulan dapat benafas.

Aku ingin mengenangmu dalam kasih,
Dengan jeritan yang tidak sempat terucapkan,
Saat awan meninggalkan hujan yang terjatuh.

Aku hanya ingin keluar dari bangunan tua itu,
Dimana setiap pintunya sudah rusak dan rapuh.
Dimana kayu kayu sudah terbengkalai tidak berdaya,
Bersembunyi dalam kegunaan yang sudah habis.

Aku ingin mencari jalan kembali,
Diantara kepastian dan ketidakinginan,
Diantara sesuatu yang tidak mungkin dan ingin terjadi,
Untuk melarikan diri dari rindu yang semakin ganas--
Untuk menemukan arah kemana kisah kita akan terurai.



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